I have milked the education system. In a completely wholesome and positive way of course. Two years at college living with Mum, two years at art college living away from home and once completed, a whopping four years at university including an Erasmus exchange with a 'gap year' squeezed in there too. It’s been awesome, a real adventure but soon, that is all to change.
Despite my time studying I’m still one of those annoyingly ambiguous classmates, you know the ones, ‘well I’m not entirely sure if I even want to go into (insert career path here)’, because, well I really don’t.
"The freedom of studying creative subjects allows me to, not only create stuff but to dream up new ideas and aspirations - no matter how fleeting they may be."
It's a fluid way of being or an indecisive one however you want to put it. Taking each day as it comes and of course making the most out of them has served me well but now with the end of uni in sight I can’t help but feel that I can no longer ride this wave, its crunch time.
It’s not that I’ve been escaping working life or that I'm scared of the ‘real world' because I haven’t been and I’m not.
"But theres just something incredibly daunting about committing to something that you don’t really know all too much about."
And more to the point, how do you know if it's going to make you happy? It's a commitment that is not only the start of a whole new chapter in life it's ultimately going to shape the rest of it. So I am telling myself that the past eight years of studying I have put in has boiled down to this point, now it's probably best I decide what I'm going to do next and go and bloody do it.
I suppose feeling like this is normal (ish) for someone entering their final year, it's the calm before the storm of final projects, dissertation writing, end of year shows and exhibitions, not to mention then having to move out, relocate and to a pretty much start over some place new.
"Not having a plan for the first time in three years, that’s the unsettling part of all this…"
However submitting to all this pressure won't help me create a new one now will it. So as I drift on the winds of uncertainty towards my third (fourth) and final year, will I be gifted with a moment of clarity and focus? Will I stop worrying about the if’s and but's? All I know is that I am in-fact strangely looking forward to it and for the time-being I’ll keep my sporadic aspirations and adventuring attitude because it's got me this far!
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